The Hidden Power of Your ‘Expectations’ – And How To Handle Them
Doing the work on releasing the gremlin of various unhealthy expectations – which is how we allow the projected future to intrude on the present, is an often overlooked hidden power.
Expectations can raise our self-esteem when they are being met in positive ways.
Or bring us down when we are not aware of the hidden energy draining power that unmet expectations have on our well-being.
Specifically some of our unmet expectations can exhaust our energy and take away some of our mental, emotional, and even spiritual health.
Some common unmet expectations or outdated expectations can surface around our spouse, partners, of our jobs, kids, especially teenagers, and so on.
Expectations are neither good not bad. It’s being aware of our expectations and how to be responsible for them.
For example, if I’m holding onto the expectation that my teenage kids should see me and treat me the same way they did until they were about 12 years old, that could lead to some disappointment, fear, frustration, stress, even guilt, and of course anger.
Which most people with teens can relate to. By the time they are 13 years old and beyond – the relationship is not the same. But my expectations may still be the same – causing unnecessary conflict because I’m still trying get my expectations met in unrealistic ways that no longer fit the present situation.
By not being aware of what we are holding on to we might find ourselves blaming others or blaming external situations.
Expectations can be an indicator of either healthy relationships or unhealthy relationships. If you expect to be treated with respect, kindness, and honesty and you find those expectation continuously be unmet – violated or discounted, then perhaps it’s time to examine whether you wish to stay in such a relationship.
Being clear on your expectations is a key to navigating your life.
Now sometimes people only focus relieving the intensity of their feelings. Which is temporary at best.
Working with our ‘expectations’ is looking beyond just our feelings. It’s doing the work to surface our expectations and resolving or releasing them allowing ourselves greater harmony and Freedom.
This kind of work with expectations is based on a master world therapist Virginia Satir and her teachings on working with ‘Expectation’.
There are 3 critical types of expectations ;
Expectations of Ourselves
Expectations Of Others
And what we think others expect from us
It’s looking at How to:
1. Honour them – looking at how we can actually meet them and when?
2. OR – How to Change them – such as reset the boundaries
3. OR – How to Release them – and if we decide to release them, what action will we take to make that clear.
Also what we might need or do to make it happen .
Getting clarity and taking responsibility for our various expectations and finding ways to honour, change, or release them is a way to gain more personal freedom in our minds and our hearts.
As well as connecting and resolving many of our feelings as well because they are inter- connected.
We can actually shift the relationships between ourselves and others, as well as the relationship with ourselves and our life.